The Therapist's Corner

Life Coaching or Licensed Therapy?

Life Coaching or Licensed Therapy?

Considering seeking counseling, or life coaching? Both choices exist, and the field of life coaching is growing. Sometimes people just benefit from some encouragement, or collaboration in setting goals, or developing problem-solving skills. Those issues might not require serious, licensed therapy, but just some helpful collaboration. That's where a life coach might come in. On the other hand, the field of life coaching is not as regulated as the field of licensed therapy.

Helping Children Through Divorce

Helping Children Through Divorce

Divorce ranks as one of the highest stressors a human being can face over a lifetime. Ever heard the phrase, “Divorce is never over?” It’s true. About half of all marriages in the United States will end by divorce, and the toll on both spouses, in particular their children, can be enormous. Part of my doctoral dissertation for my Ph.D. surrounds this issue. Even with the best of intentions, husbands and wives, often over a period of years, reach the point where they feel

Self-Esteem, or Self-Entitlement?

Self-Esteem, or Self-Entitlement?

Awarding your child a trophy just for showing up? Jumping in to rescue little Janie when she calls her teacher names? Excusing yourself when you take off work for the third time this month to drive little Bobby’s forgotten lunchbox to school? You may be harming your children well into adulthood. For the past several decades, society embraced the idea of children’s self-esteem and ran with it. What began originally as a well-intended effort to build into our children’s s

The Tyranny of Perfection

The Tyranny of Perfection

Perfection is beautiful, graceful, what we want. Or is it? And it’s about as possible as the moon turning green. As someone who was a born perfectionist, I found out some things over the years. The pursuit of perfection will end up owning you. Here are some things the endless pursuit of elusive “perfection” will bring to your life – No matter how fast you run or hard you work, it will never be enough. It never lasts for very long. So if you get it, take a picture of it b

Forgiveness Frees

Forgiveness Frees

That old hurt still rankle? Refuse to forgive? Believe that if you forgive, it might mean that what they did to you was okay? Say the word “forgive”, and watch shoulders go up around the ears of many people in the room. And yet, it can be one of the most important, lifechanging things you’ll ever do. Forgiveness is not a feeling or emotion. It is a conscious decision. It also does not translate into being a doormat or excusing harmful treatment or behavior. It isn’t

Happiness: We Make It, We Don't Find It

Happiness: We Make It, We Don't Find It

“If everything would just turn out the way I want it to…then I’d be happy". Or…”I’ll be happy if I could get married…or win the lottery….” The idea of “happiness” always seems to be just out of reach, just over the rainbow, and always dependent on an outside circumstance. How often do we put our happiness in someone else’s back pocket? Entire lifetimes are wasted away in the endless pursuit of the dream of happiness that seems to lurk right around the corner, or with the n

The Art of the Apology

The Art of the Apology

Nothing hurts more than needing an apology and not receiving it. There is an art to apologizing, and the best way validates the offended party, does not diminish the offense, expresses true remorse, is respectful. It listens and does not make excuses. It does not attempt to spread the blame, nor try to justify or rationalize the offense. There is a right way, and a wrong way, to give an apology. The right way can bring healing and a new start to a relationship. The wrong

The Childcentric Home

The Childcentric Home

We adore our children. They mean everything to us. We try hard to juggle marriage, family, parenting, work, outside responsibilities. Sometimes when we’re busy and multitasking as fast as we can, our children’s needs and wants take precedence, even over our spouse. After all; our spouse is an adult and can take of themselves, right? It can even be easier to draw closer to our child than our spouse, when our child gives usually unconditional acceptance and adoration and so

When Your Teen Begins Dating

When Your Teen Begins Dating

There is little that will produce anxiety like a parent anticipating their teen entering the dating world. Our culture is frought with rapidly-changing trends, an epidemic of increasingly harmful pornography, sexting, and ambiguous rules and boundaries for teens and adults alike. Parents are understandably confused and apprehensive and often feel isolated without much support in their parenting of teens and pre-teens. They can often feel that if they institute healthy boun

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